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Pure Energy (What’s on my mind)

2010/05/22

Let’s transcend the physical for a moment and consider the metaphysical. Oh, boy. Here we go.

This morning, while picking up the kitchen after breakfast, it became known to my wife that I had learned a small item of information that was insignificant to me, though significant to someone else, that was supposed to be kept on the down-low. I told her I wasn’t going to run out and tell anyone this information. My wife, who is much more versed in yogic scripture and related wisdom than I, told me it wasn’t about who I was or wasn’t going to tell, it’s about “containing the energy.” Just like when my six-year-old asked me as she looked out window one day, “Is this life even real? Dad? Dad? I’ll ask Mom, she knows everything.” – I just looked at her blankly. My wife then said, “You don’t get it, do you?” and walked out of the room.

All wives at some point will realize they married a moron, right? I hope I’m not alone in this. But as Henry Miller wrote and I recently reread: “Even the idiot may have a message for us.”

So as I finished cleaning the kitchen, I thought about “containing the energy.” Of course I knew what energy she was talking about. Not physcial, not the shit that comes in the little foil packets that I rip open and eat during a run. Though I thought about grabbing one from the cabinet and taking it to her, saying “Like this, babe? This is what you mean, how the viscous gel is held together inside this foil?” Just to be a smartass and piss her off. But I reconsidered after reviewing the possible consequences of such an action. Though I don’t plan on having any more kids, I’m attached to my testicles. Physically and metaphysically.

But yes, that energy that you cannot see, that all-pervasive force in the Universe that gives life to everything, even ideas and concepts. So then, containing the energy versus dispersing it. Got it….

Last night, I told my wife that I was going to rise early and head out for a long run. This morning, I woke up when my 3-year-old came in wanting breakfast at 7 o’clock, and I realized I had forgotten to set my alarm for six so I could get out the door before the kids woke. So modifying my plan, I decided I would get up, give the girls some Cheerios, and go for my run. As I was sitting on the edge of the bed, stretching everything that sleeping tightens, my wife says to me: “Aren’t you gonna go run? I have to be downtown by 9:30, you know.” It was not a motivational statement.

I suddenly felt that the idea to go for a run was not mine anymore. Instead, it was more like a suggestion,  even a demand, from someone else. My thing, this activity that I do for myself, was no longer mine. The ENERGY was gone, dispersed, evaporated into the ether swirling about the Universe. I tried to hold on to it, even though I wanted to tell her that, no, I’ve decided not to run this morning, just to make that idea all mine. But I said that I was going, I was going, I was going. However, now with time constraints hanging over my head, another energy-killer.

Yes, I tried and tried to hold on to that energy, as I got dressed, as I slipped on the shoes, as I stretched more, and as I did a half-mile warm up walk. But it was no use. The 5k minimum I had in my head when I woke up turned into a troubled 2 miles. Physically. Metaphysically. It’s all the same, all related. The gel I ate before going out the door couldn’t help a thing, and coincidentally, that energy went to waste, too. I dispersed an energy gel to be absorbed into my physical body when my body didn’t end up needing it, and there’s no way to get that gel back into the little foil packet and seal it up again for later use.

My wife was worried about the information about this “thing” that was in the works losing its energy. Yes, got it. Things, ideas, projects, cannot manifest if too much energy is leaked from them before it’s time.

Now my new tactic to contain my own energy is to keep my thoughts to myself. Don’t tell anyone I’m going to do this or that until I’m ready to actually do it. What’s on your mind, like the 80’s pop group Information Society told us so long ago, is Pure Energy. Once you let it out of your mind for others to consider, the energy is gone, scattered, no longer yours. Other people will immediately make their own opinions and judgments about it, thus completely destroying its original intention or meaning.

But there are some things you can’t hide….

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One Comment leave one →
  1. 2010/08/13 10:55 pm

    Words to live by, dude. I love what you’re saying here. I need to implement a little of this energy hoarding in my life… could cut down on some stress. Really, great timing. Nice meeting you tonight!

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